It's the best news story of the year. First of all John Darwin - a man believed to have died in a canoeing accident - turns up alive after five years, claiming amnesia. Brilliant. Then his own auntie goes on record as saying: "To be honest I don't believe he ever got his feet wet." Even more brilliant. Following that, someone Googles his name and finds a photo of Mr Darwin in Panama, with his wife - who claimed to have moved there to grieve - smiling happily for the camera, taken during the time he's supposed to have been missing. And they didn't even tell the kids! More brilliant than anything we could possibly imagine. The trial is going to be amazing.
So we've complied ten special videos in honour of, perhaps, this century's greatest criminal mastermind (look at his cunning disguise - a beard! Who would ever recognise him?)
1. Simply Red - Money's Too Tight To Mention
2. Everything But the Girl - Missing
3. Michael Buble - Lost
4. Confederate Railroad - When You Leave That Way (You Can Never Go Back)
5. Riverboat Gamblers - Don't Bury Me... I'm Not Dead Yet
6. Sasha - Coming Home
7. Phil Collins - Do You Remember
8. Madonna - Secret
9. The Sun - Lost At Home
10. Eskimo Joe - Liar
Of course, they could both be telling the truth. That's for a jury to decide...
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